It doesn’t start off as a roller coaster. In fact, it creeps up on you, slowly, patiently; branching out inside you, establishing itself and making a home in your very core.
You don’t notice it at first, second, third. It doesn’t affect you at the start, but after the first lap you find your energy waning quicker; after the second you stop replying to friends and family; after the third you long for the day to end.
Your performance in school and at work is hindered, your mind both running a constant race and throbbing with numbness. You have no desire to connect with others. You’re passionless for your passions. You want nothing.
Your friends become aliens; your family, a nuisance; your commitments, burdens.
You long for the comfort and security you can never find. Your days, months, years blend into one long, empty existence. You think, you believe, you fear you can never go back. Back to “before”.
Your room becomes a safe haven; the outside a memory. You are trapped on this roller coaster, an unwilling passenger in the cart of strangers who are equally trapped.
All it takes is one voice to be the light in your darkness. All it takes is one soul to show they care. All it takes is a helping hand pulling you out of the hole.
All it takes is for someone to notice the symptoms of the nightmare you have accepted as reality.
Izi Bella x